Showing posts with label Blended Malt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blended Malt. Show all posts

Friday, December 16, 2016

Day 16, Ball clacking cold with just the right remedy - Samaroli Islay Whisky

You know... I often talk about the fact that Canadians are used to experiencing the four seasons. Well, this morning the first thing I heard on the radio was that we were going to break the record that was set in 1970 for coldest December 16th ever. It was -36C this morning with the wind chill. That meant, advisories to keep your skin covered, for the homeless to try and find shelter, to not leave your pets out. Graham calls it: "Ball clacking cold"...  

The second clue that it was really, really ^#$%!{^# cold outside was that my dog, a Bernese mountain dog, bred to pull carts in deep snow in Switzerland refused to go outside to do his business. But the grand finale was when my friend Chris London posted the weather warning on our local weather network website:


Yah... you see correctly, that does say a Moose-licking warning issued in this Canadian province.

Needless to say, I got out my winter layers: Long johns, wool socks, -60C rated boots, scarf, mittens, etc... girl's gotta be ready for the worst!? Once I was done prepping, I went down to the basement to quickly open my little door, today is #16. And like some magical or perfect coincidence, low and behold the PERFECT whisky for this type of bone chilling weather: A Samaroli (another one!!) Islay blended 8 year old. Cap off immediately, nose and just a small nip. After all, a little fortification on this type of day is clearly needed. READY for work!!! 

Long day and by the time I actually made it home, I was thankful the week was over. This whisky was going to be a well deserved dram! Hello armchair and ahhhhhhhhh....

Samaroli Islay 8 year old, 43% ABV Cask #1883, Refill Hogshead.

Colour: White grape juice (another -> Barely any colour).

Nose: Wet slate, PVC piping washed with hospital disinfectant!!

Palate: Oily, ashy peat (partly burnt wood in the fireplace), white grapefruit rind.

Finish: Peated yummy goodness that had a nice warming effect.

From a peathead's perspective this is a young brash but well balanced dram. It's got some bite and it is very satisfying as far as Islay whiskies go. Another clear winner of the advent calendar. Let's take a peak at what Jonathan thought:

www.singlemalting.com


If this is something you think you might like, Jonathan may be able to find you one, just maybe!

Well, I'm hoping warmer weather is coming but for the time being.... this will stay out for a few days just in case!


Cheers,

Johanne



Monday, December 12, 2016

And welcome to day 12! Gerston from the Lost Distillery Company

Day 12 and we awaken to the news that 15-20cm of snow is coming today. Schools are closed but of course we have to go to work. Down the basement stairs I creep in the darkness as I have done many times before since starting this great little advent calendar adventure. I flick on a light and in the glow of the warm light I find the door I have been waiting for. The reveal, a whisky I have had before and enjoyed: Gerston from the Lost Distillery Company. Now I'll admit here and now that when I first heard about this company, I sort of rolled my eyes. I seemed a little kitschy and I made the mistake of listening to a few people on social media. Many people made it sound like they were making whisky from old and lost distilleries, however if you go to the website: www.lost-distillery.com, you can read for yourself that they are upfront about what exactly they have available as whiskies. 

I like what Secret Spirits has placed in the advent calendar as well for all the independent bottlers: A brief explanation of what each company is all about. It's another great feature of this gift, especially for people who may not have any experience or heard of these companies or whiskies before.

So back to the 15-20cm we were supposed to get -> It came... quickly. We were sent home by 2:30pm but by the time I was able to actually make it back to the house it was closer to 4:30pm. For those of you who don't live in this type of climate, sometimes the snowfall is fast, slick and visibility goes down to zero in a heartbeat. Once we had supper and dishes out of the way I was finally able to sit down with my dram. And where did the Lassie sit... in the window, in her favourite arm chair. (Gotta love tradition)...

The Lost Distillery Company, Gerston NAS bottled at 46% ABV, Bourbon casks

Colour: High noon sunlight when I'm on my boat ;)

Nose: Welsh's white grape juice but with a nice "boozy" back drop. Once it has sat in the glass, I sort of get fresh rosemary or maybe rubbed thyme. It goes back and forth between sweet and savoury.

Palate: This has a bit of a briny and smoky character to it, almost like a really soft but younger unpeated Caol Ila maybe. It's almost "refreshing"...

Finish: Sweet with a hint of hot, like ginger root and then the chocolate or roasted cocoa hits you. Lingers... 

This is yet another great example of a balanced and very enjoyable dram. It was another, sit, sip, savour and take my time whisky. My list of whiskies I would buy from this advent calendar seems to get a bit longer with every passing day. I think what I enjoyed most about this was the nose. It drew me into the glass and was quite enticing. Everything else, was the cherry on the cake.

Feel free to see what Jonathan thought of this dram by checking out his review at www.singlemalting.com

Are we due for another lovely dram or is tomorrow going to be unlucky thirteen? Stay tuned to find out...


Until then, I'll just sit here in my armchair, turn the lights off, finish my dram as I watch the snow swirl around outside.

Cheers lovely #whiskyfabric

Lassie


Sunday, December 11, 2016

Day 11, peat, Peat, PEEEEEAT!

It's been starting to get a bit colder here in Eastern Canada and honestly I wasn't paying attention too much to the rest of the world from a weather perspective. I was advised that western Canada, particularly Alberta was under a cold snap. That means the temperature dipping down into the -30's Celsius. So when Jonathan offered to hold a live tasting by fire side, my emphatic answer was: YES!!! I'M IN.

Had I known that today's dram was called Kiln Embers, I may have begged Jonathan to wait until we got to this one instead. As mentioned on day 2, Wemyss Malts is easily one of my top 3 independent bottlers. They always have some really interesting drams and I have several bottles in my personal collection. This morning, that's what I discovered behind door 11... A dram I had seen and heard many people talking about earlier this year. They already have a peated expression on the market called Peat Chimney, which many people including myself really enjoy. So, I was perplexed to see a second peated expression being released and even more curious to get to try it for myself. Once again I tip my hat to Jonathan for getting this one for the advent calendar.

Today, unfortunately was a super busy day. It's that time of year and we have many commitments to visit with friends, attend parties, etc.. My goal was to get up around 7:00am and get as much done before our noon destination. That... didn't happen and I spent most of the day running behind. My poor little advent calendar sat silently in the basement, I'm sure thinking to itself that I had abandoned it. hehehe

When we finally did get home many hours later, I got into my pj's and I aimed for my lovely and very comfortable arm chair. I snuggled in with a warm blanket and prepared myself for my treat! Once poured I began to nose it immediately. I can see why they chose to call this one Kiln Embers. I am transported back to the Port Ellen Maltings on Islay.  It's not a smell you can ever forget!
























This is another dram I could easily find myself lost in for hours if I let myself. So, after a long day I decided I would do just that. 

Wemyss Malts Kiln Embers, 46% ABV blended malt

Colour: Lovely 14K gold, plain and simple

Nose: A fireplace just as you get the fire started. Ashy, smoky goodness. Then grapefruit!

Palate: Not complicated, but bold. Lovely mouth feel. Smoky goodness followed by a salted caramel component. Lovely indeed. 

Finish:  Doesn't stick around, but it's warming and quite satisfying.

































Overall this is a fabulous dram that will satisfy the most picky of "peatheads". I recall when Peat Chimney came out I thought it was good but now I will add that Peat Chimney has a big brother and he's a bit more mature!

Don't forget to check out Jonathan's take on this dram:


I do hope full bottles are available, because I just found my 2nd favourite dram of the calendar, so far...


here's to a lovely week and another that's ready to start. Number 12, I'm ready for you!!


cheers,

Lassie

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Day 4, can you say Christmas BOMB!

It's a cold Sunday morning here in the Maritimes and my morning routine of going down the stairs to reveal the next door of my Secret Spirits Whisky Advent Calendar involves wrapping myself in a blanket today!  Brrrrr...

The reveal is quick as I easily poke my finger through door #4. The little bottle comes out easily (I'm getting really good at this!). I turn it around to the light and it says: LOST DISTILLERY COMPANY, JERICO CHRISTMAS EDITION, CASK TYPE: SHERRY FINISH.  It's a blended malt scotch whisky with an ABV of 46%. 

I bounded up the stairs and stared at the clock. It's only 8:15am. I frowned. I decided to put a little in my neat glass and sat in my usual spot. Again, looking over the neighbourhood, sleepy little street I always love just sitting here in my big bay window and watching the world go by. I brought the glass to my nose and closed my eyes. What a lovely smelling dram indeed. It's hard to be live this is just a sherry finished whisky as the rich flavours of Christmas baking spices is quite enticing indeed. I dipped my finger in the glass and brought it to my lips. Oily, thick mouthfeel. It was hard to put it down. Through the course of my day, I did the usual things we do: Laundry, sweeping, changing the beds, but I kept coming back to my glass and smelling it all morning long. After lunch I sat down and started watching a bit of football. At about half time I decided it was well enough into the day for me to properly imbibe, so whisky in hand I put my feet up and continued to watch the rest of my football game. (PATS won!) and then just like that it was time to get supper moving along.  Once again I put the glass down (much emptier now) and went about my business to make a lasagna. I came back over to my chair and front window just as the sun was starting to set, it was fabulous. I sat silently making the rest of my notes and almost as though someone up there somewhere read my mind at the exact moment, snow flurries began. 

My heart warmed with joy as I continued to smell and slowly drink the diminishing enticing liquid in my whisky glass. (Or maybe it was the whisky that caused the warm fuzzy feeling... :) Either way, it was the perfect way to end my Sunday and start writing my review.

LOST DISTILLERY JERICO CHRISTMAS EDITION,  46% ABV.

Color:  I'll mention the colour on this one because it's natural. It has the look of old antique gold with wisps of sunset orange. It's lovely.

Nose: Honey roasted pecans! Little later in the day it turned into a lovely New Orleans Bread Pudding recipe that I make from time to time: Creamy, sultanas soaked in rum, freshly ground cinnamon and with a bit of water a Terry's Chocolate Orange. Very inviting! 

Palate: First thing in the morning I described it as oily and had a rich mouthfeel. That has only intensified! Rich fruit - dark cherries, blackberries and sweet but not cloying. And then it hits me... Diana Alexander's Steamed Christmas Pudding. OMG!? Delish indeed.

Finish: Long, warming and quite lingering. (Probably didn't help that I kept sipping at it all afternoon, hehe) 

I wrote a piece a few years ago that blends are where we really should be looking for value for money and I still stand by that. The art of blending, when done correctly, is a beautiful thing. This Christmas edition blend was sublime. I absolutely loved it.

I have made it a habit not to read Jonathan's blog before I write mine. So far, we've been pretty close on our descriptors. And also, don't forget if you want any of the bottles that are in the advent calendar, Jonathan can tell you where they are available!


www.singlemalting.com/singlemalting-whisky-blog-137-3rd-edition-scotch-whisky-advent-calendar-day-4-lost-distillery-company-jericho/

Thanks again for a fantastic choice for the advent calendar Secret Spirits. Can't wait to see what comes next!

Cheers all!

Lassie

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Day 3, Scotch Whisky Advent Calendar - A Canadian walks into a bar...

You would think that I would purposely try and sleep in on the weekend. Problem is, I'm a light sleeper and seem to have an internal clock that dictates that I'm up and about at 7:15am. This morning was no different. I quietly rose with nothing more than the distant sunrise as a friend. Well, that's not the whole truth as our 7 year old Berner will often beat me to the front door once he hears me stirring. I have a tendency to try and be as quiet as possible on these lazy Saturday mornings. Graham gets up early from Monday to Friday, takes care of getting our animals fed and then makes me coffee in bed as a result he gets to sleep in quite late on weekends. Animals fed, Lassie's coffee made, I sit in my Queen Ann armchair and watch as my sleepy little neighbourhood starts to come to life. Our neighbour Nancy, on cue at 7:45, starts the car to take Greg to hockey practise. Mr MacInerny, the 92 year old street gossip, is out for his daily walk about by 8:00. 


It's at this point that I seem to fully awaken and remember I have an amazing whisky advent calendar waiting for me downstairs. Unlike yesterday's adventure (you should see the bruise on my elbow!?) I slowly creep down the stairs like I did as a child on Christmas morning. By the time I reached the calendar I found myself grinning as I poked through door number 3. Today's whisky is from the Shetland Distillery Company, it's called Shetland Reel. My mouth gaped open.  What a gem to get to try this! Then it dawned on me, I have tasted something from this distillery before. I cupped the little sample bottle in my hand and sat down in the stairway. 


On my annual trip to Scotland this past May, I had the distinct pleasure to stay at the Dowan's Hotel in Aberlour. It is a family run operation and over the 3 days that I stayed there I met, what I consider, two exceptional young whisky women. The first night in the hotel, as I walked into their lovely bar I was greeted warmly and offered a drink. I asked for a gin and tonic and she quickly reached behind the bar and pulled down 3-4 gins. 

I fully expected the "usuals" but instead was regaled with rare and very interesting choices, one being the Shetland Reel. The young barkeep explained how one of the botanicals being used was seaweed. Being from the Maritimes this seemed like a logical choice. She recommended that I not have it in a cocktail but simply on ice. I raised an eyebrow but trusted her fully. As I sipped my gin (which was delicious) the conversation flowed and was not only enlightening but intelligent. 

Funny how the act of pulling out a small whisky bottle from an advent calendar on a sleepy Saturday morning has the ability to propel you backwards to a specific moment in time. I climbed the stairs, enveloped in the warmth of the memories of my trip to Scotland. I sat on the couch and scrolled back through some of the photos, looking at all the distilleries I visited, the things I did and the people I got to meet along the way. Whisky has always provided me with these types of experiences and opportunities. It is a great reminder of the times I live in and how fortunate I really am.

So, finally after waiting a few hours (always important to wait until the sun is up over the yard-arm), I poured the Shetland Reel Blended Malt Scotch and I once again sat in my big armchair. 


Shetland Reel, Blended Whisky 47% ABV

Nose: Smells like Graham's woodworking room, slightly industrial with fresh sawdust. A backdrop of exotic spices, maybe more like sandalwood. A bit of lemon wax polish (Pledge!). 

Palate: Sweet, lemon drops enveloped in powdered sugar with a hint of smokiness. 

Finish: Quite nice, not lengthy but indeed memorable. 

I wouldn't consider this an overly complicated whisky by any means but very well balanced and enjoyable. I really love that the smoke was at the back and even though it's at 47% I certainly didn't feel like it was "too much". As I now have 3 of the whiskies under my belt, I have to say this is a real treat because so far these are all new whisky discoveries for me. It is very evident to me that Jonathan & Cindy really work hard to make these exciting and different.  And speaking of Jonathan, he's also documented his own journey of the advent calendar this year.  Check out his website and reviews at: www.singlemalting.com



Day 3, fab whisky and there's still 22 more days. How could a Lassie not be thankful!  Thanks again to the ladies at the Dowans, it's because of you that I even know about Shetland Distillery. #Whiskyfabric, is truly a wonderful thing!


And of course a thank you to Secret Spirits for giving me the opportunity to be their guest writer this year. This is going to be one of the best whisky Christmas' ever! If any of the whiskies I write about sound like something you might want to try for yourselves, contact @AdventSpirits to see if it might still be available.

Day 4.... Can't wait to see where we are going next! I hope you'll check in tomorrow to find out too.


Cheers!

Lassie















































My heart’s in the Highlands, my heart is not here,
My heart’s in the Highlands, a-chasing the deer,
Chasing the wild-deer, and following the roe,
My heart’s in the Highlands, wherever I go.
(My Heart is in the Highlands: Rabbie Burns 1789)

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Lassie's top 10 memorable drams for 2015 - #3 The loveliest of drams...

Every year people around the world make new year's resolutions, me not so much... 

I do have the habit of making a list of things I want to do, see or get for the upcoming year. It's nothing crazy but from a whisky perspective it just gives me some incentives to try and find whiskies that are either bucket list or the "must try and buys".

But... sometimes, living in North America can have its disadvantages when it comes to whisky availability. This particular whisky was released in the UK and flew off the shelves. I started asking around to see if any of it would make it to Canada and it didn't appear like it would. Problem: I wasn't going to Scotland until May and I knew there wouldn't be any left so I got a hold of a friend who lived outside Edinburgh and asked if I could get a bottle of this whisky delivered to his house if I ordered a bottle. Without hesitation he said yes and I ordered immediately. The great part of not only getting the whisky was the fact that it allowed me to introduce him to Graham and we got to spend an afternoon dramming and talking on Queen Street. 

I've already written about this whisky in a blog this year, here is the "sort of" review...


Since the review, not only did I get my own bottles (yes plural....) but while I was visiting Scotland I had the best night with Jacqueline Sutherland @WemyssJacque and she opened a bottle of Velvet Fig with Graham and I... (I had 3 drams that night!) not to mention she fed us so much delicious food I was ready to burst. I still crave the shortbread we had that night. The BEST I have ever tasted!

Velvet Fig was/is a fabulous whisky that transported me to wonderful memories, that made me forget where I was and offered me the best gift ever: Pure enjoyment. And now, as promised... a proper nosing/tasting. 

Velvet Fig, Wemyss Malts, 46% ABV
















Nose: Big, bold and full of sweet sherry notes. Then the overwhelming but absolutely mouthwatering smell of fresh ripe figs. Baking spices come next. 

Palate: Not only does it match the nose, it's even bolder. My whole mouth exploded with rich dried fruits, full bodied with a nutty background. 

Finish: Long, lingering, warm with more figs and a bit of ginger root heat. 

This is rich velvety figs from start to finish and everything else that comes with it: Friends, memories and simple enjoyment. Those drams are few and far in between so when they happen they are very special to me. Hence, this was easily in my top 3 for 2015. 

I plan on opening a bottle of Velvet Fig in January to share with all of my friends. It's doubtful it will last for very long. Hope you got a bottle too! 


Lassie

PS -> Happy Birthday Jacqueline xox

Friday, April 17, 2015

Velvet Fig: The review... sort of?!

This little girl was raised in a small town where gardening & growing your own fruits/veggies was the norm. Summers are short (Jun-Sept) so I ate fruits like strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, blackberries and lots of apples. The climate simply does not allow for growing citrus, bananas or any other 'exotic' delicacies. Also, we were not a rich family so 'store bought' items were rare or reserved for special occasions. 


Don't laugh but I always got a Sunkist Orange in my Christmas stocking and I would wait patiently for weeks before I ate it. 

It has always been in my nature to try everything so the first time I went to Toronto, when I was 13, my cousins made fun of the fact that I ate a kiwi with the peel on and why wouldn't I, I had no idea you weren't suppose to? (and I still do to this day). I moved to a much larger city when I was 18 and would go to the market every day to buy fruit and vegetables I had never tried before: Asparagus, eggplant, avocado, pomegranate and figs just to name a few of the first discoveries.


My favorite story was when I did buy avocado and figs for the first time. I asked the clerk what the avocado was: A fruit. I grabbed one and put it in my basket. What's that I stated pointing to a display of fresh figs. He looked at me quite strangely and asked where I was from. I happily explained (from that day forward when I came in he was always very helpful in pointing out different items that I might enjoy trying).  I got back to my little apartment, took out 2 figs and the avocado. I sliced them all open and chose to start with a piece of the fig. Oh... heavenly, juicy and absolutely mouthwatering. It was so good! I picked up the sliced avocado and put that in my mouth: bland, chalky and the peeling was like eating a piece of leather. I spit the whole thing out and stared down at the green muck. (yes, you read correctly, I ate the peel as well) DISGUSTING! It took almost 10 years and a friend's party before I would go near once again and thankfully that encounter was a much better one. I've loved avocado ever since.      

I continued to buy the fresh figs every time I could get my hands on them. They became a very memorable part of my food sensory discoveries in those very formative years of my life. Some people would reach for chocolate, I would always reach for fresh fruit because really for me they were much more special. 
THE ART AND BEAUTY OF THE FIG
Fast forward to late November 2014 when I notice some bloggers posting reviews of a whisky called 'Velvet Fig' from Wemyss Malts. I read a few of them, looked up the whisky on a few websites and it didn't appear, at that time, that it would be coming to Canada -> Bollocks! Like I usually do at the end of every year, I make a goals list for the following. So, Velvet Fig was added to my 'must try' list for 2015. Word started to spread in early January that supplies were limited and that it would soon be gone. Crap! I quickly decided I had to reach out and find a bottle, but laws don't allow whisky to be sent to Canada (archaic & stupid). I made arrangements with a 'Whisky Brother' from the fabric to have the bottle delivered to his home address in UK and I would pick it up on a trip to Scotland in May. (AMEN!!!)

But as always the lovely #whiskyfabric is a wondrous thing and I have true friends that are genuinely happy to share their whiskies as was the case with this one as well. Rick Culver (@rmculver) from Ontario and Franck Debernardi (@LaCaveDeCobalt) from France were kind enough to ensure a few samples of the Velvet Fig got to me. The first dram of the Velvet Fig I enjoyed with Rick and Rob in Kingston. No notes. Nothing but three friends sitting down together and enjoying the discovery of a new dram. Fabulous experience and I highly recommend doing that from time to time. JUST ENJOY THE MOMENT. It was a lovely dram that the three of us enjoyed together.

The second time was alone at home, on a cold blustery night in March while Graham walked the dog and I huddled on the couch with a soft blanket and wool socks. I needed a 'warming' dram and went into my whisky room to get a smoky Islay when Franck's distinctive hand writing caught my eye. I grabbed a Glencairn and poured the Velvet Fig. I went back to the living room, enveloped myself in my blanket and proceeded to watch TV. At first I was simply paying attention to the program and not to my glass. I held it up to my nose during a commercial and that's when the magic began. 

So fruity, silky and mouthwatering that I was immediately whisked backwards in time to a small backyard where a cat was lazing in a sunbeam. We were all outside sitting on patio chairs, shoes off, enjoying the summer afternoon. Franck, his lovely wife and their two beautiful and very smart little girls. I was in France... I snapped open my eyes and stared at the Glencairn. I smiled, turned off the television, leaned my head back and continued back to that very special afternoon. Watching the kids, laughing, speaking in French and getting to know Franck & Jennifer. Sharing stories, whiskies and having one of the best meals I had while in France cooked by both of them. Franck's Veal Osso Buco melted in my mouth and it was followed by Jennifer's French apple tart. It was so delicious it would have made my grandmother cry. Truly a fantastic day spent near Paris. I remember saying goodbye at the train station and wishing I had more time. Sometimes you meet people that you click with right away and there's a sense that you'd end up being good friends. The train ride back to Paris was spent trying to draw Llewella & Doriane, his two sweet & very bright little girls. (I suck at drawing though... hehe) Back at my Paris hotel that night, I spent a full hour skyping with Graham describing the day I had had. It was another fantastic day brought to me by #whiskyfabric

The wind howled and I opened my eyes again in the darkened living room. I noticed a few tears that had started to well up but laughed and wiped them away. I stared down once more at the now empty glass and quickly realized the whisky had transported me back in time to a very happy place with some extraordinary people I was fortunate to have met. But in the here and now my notepad was blank, the Velvet Fig was gone and I hadn't registered anything drinking the whisky?! 

I have always said that whisky is more than just a liquid that is consumed, taking notes or grinding out reviews!? It's about moments in time, sharing and living life to the fullest. Whisky has done that for me and so many of you as well. I giggled as I went back to the whisky room and pulled out what was left of the Velvet Fig sample. I sat at my desk and nosed/tasted it again, this time paying attention to the whisky. But once again I was distracted and transported back to that moment in the city market where that bright eyed 18 year old girl with her whole life ahead of her was chattering to the clerk and buying fresh figs. I relived the moment of bringing them home (as described above) and I sat back laughing at myself for being such a country bumpkin... and so naive but at least very eager to learn about everything! After all, we didn't have the interweb back then. It dawned on me that moment was 30 years ago. Memories are powerful aren't they?

I realize I'm still holding a pen in my hand and look down to find... an empty glass AGAIN. Look at the notebook to see where I wrote four words: This is really good. So, the initial review of Velvet Fig from the Lassie, sort of... 


Nose: Rich, sweet and really fruity. Ability to transport you to a time/place associated with blissful fond memories.

Palate: So silky and tasty that it may cause you to forget to write anything down because you are too busy enjoying it. Seems to cause a second dram to be poured.

Finish: Delightful and causes a bit of embarrassment when you realize the glass is empty. Leads to blaming someone else for the dram being gone?!

Probably my best review ever!  Now I have no choice but to wait patiently for May 17th when I will be reunited with my bottle of Velvet Fig and promise to do a full review of it, this time trying desperately to pay attention to the elixir in the glass instead of floating away on the aromas. Pinky swear....

Velvet Fig - Wemyss Malts, if you haven't already gotten your bottle... you might be out of luck. 

Plenty of much better reviews out there I'm sure, just get on the google machine and look up "Velvet Fig review".... 



#AwkwardLassie

PS -> This coming to NB in November 2015 ;)