Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Behold the whisky, hardships & unconditional love in my life...

On April 25th I left for my once in a lifetime trip that would cover 8 countries, many whiskies, adventures and so many new friends. I was due to be back on July 2nd. Unfortunately my father became ill and I made the decision to go home as soon as I could. Whisky will always be whisky but I only have one dad. 

The strange part about all this is that him getting sick was the biggest blessing and gift I could have received. I know that sounds extremely weird right!? But it was. Just about the same time as my dad was getting progressively sick so was my Bernese Mountain Dog Jack, except we had no idea. The symptoms seem to point to a somewhat harmless water born bug that could be cleared up with antibiotics.  

My dad... yah, he pulled through albeit slowly. My dog... not so much. I landed in Canada on Monday June 16th and 5 days later, Jack was gone. Just like that... Life turned upside down, heart broken and massive void created in a matter of seconds. He was my "big" little boy. For the non dog owners, I don't expect you to understand at all. Jack came into my life 6 years ago as a result of my partner's desire to get a Bernese Mountain Dog. I had never even heard of that breed but had had dogs most of my adult life. I truly had no idea what we were in for... ;)  

He arrived and immediately had a profound effect on all of us. He was an old soul from day one. The most expressive and hilarious dog I have ever been fortunate to have in my life. It is as a result of getting Jack that I started writing again. The joy, turbulations, adventures, stories and absolutely everything Jack brought to our lives was fantastic. 

Was.... Man, what a fucking hard word to use/type. Was... past tense. I've only spent 5 days without him in my life and it already feels like a lifetime. Each day does get a bit easier but there are moments like hanging a wool sock on the clothesline and finding a big clump of his hair stuck to it. A chuckle, a good cry. Walking by the freezer in the basement and fully expecting to see him stretched out there, startled awake hair all screwed up because he was snoring and didn't hear me...  another chuckle, another couple of tears and snot bubbles... :)  

Something else I have learned from all of this, another blessing so to speak...  Even though I was away for 50 days AND tried 355 whiskies I am NOT an alcoholic. Yah, another weird and strange blessing, hehehe. I didn't NEED a whisky to cope with Jack's death. As a matter of fact it was the last thing I wanted to put to my lips. A few days later, a hot bath, some good music and a whisky. Nothing since then, just coping, healing and helping the other lovely Berner in my life get through this as he's never known life without Jack. 

Next Monday, the 30th, will be another rough day as we will receive Jack's ashes. The finality of it all will truly set in but one thing is for sure, I'll be raising a very special dram that day to a very special dog. The interesting part of that is finding what dram will be suitable. How does one toast a dog who was stubborn, hilarious, loving, dedicated, a bit of a couch potato (literally), sweet, inspiring, soft and truly a personality like no other. Jack marched to his own drum at his own sweet time at all times from day one... 

I'll figure it out and I know I'll find the perfect dram because through it all he was the perfect dog for our family.

Here's to Jack, my sweet "big" little boy. May my memories of you bring me years of joy & laughter... I will miss you always.  


With so much love...

Your "mom"

9 comments:

  1. *sniff* The loss of a "fur kid" is hard to understand for some people... however, for those of us who love our pets and consider them like family, it is heartwrenching... My deepest condolences on the loss of Jack. He seemed like a great dog (whom I had a secret hope to meet one day) and I am sure he will live on forever because of the love you have for him. xoxoxo

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    1. agreed wholeheartedly... I know those of us who have suffered through the loss of our fur kids get it. Thanks Maryse.

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  2. Lovely tribute to the dog who embodied the word "noble".

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    1. Lovely word. I often used Majestic... Noble sounds even better, well except the episode where he was jumped out the back window to chase ducks, oh and the pineapple episode, or the time.... hehehehe.... He was a little "big" shit sometimes, but that's what made him even more endearing to me.

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  3. I'm so happy you were in each other's lives and so terribly sad for you that he is gone too soon. My sincerest condolences to you.

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    1. Thank you for the kind words.... appreciated :)

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  4. I understand, I believe. 'X' came into my life 8.5 years ago as a 1.5 years old who was returned to the breeder. He was not my idea, he was her idea; she wanted a tri-colored, long haired Border Collie. When she left 18 months ago she left him with me.

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    1. Speaks volumes doesn't it.... thank you for sharing

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  5. So beautiful. That's a terrible loss and my heart aches for you & your family. Happy that you were blessed by having Jack in your life and what a gift he gave all of us if he inspired you to start writing. I hope the days continue to get easier and you are filled with the happy memories of your life with him. Sending you warm hugs - Allison

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